5 things your pastor really needs…

If asked, I’m sure everyone would have a different answer. And honestly, none of them would probably be wrong answers. There is A LOT that your pastor needs. I’m just speaking from the experience of having been married to one for (almost) 16 years and this is strictly that- my experience.

#1. He needs prayers. Prayers that are sincere and deeply desiring the Lord’s will. When you pray for your pastor, pray that the Lord will use him to bring honor and glory to His name; that the Lord would put the right people in his life to encourage and uplift him; and that the Lord would give him the clarity he needs to lead his people. Pray for his family as well, and any other prayer requests that he has made known. Be watchful (but not nosey)- if you know he has an extra-busy week, pray that God will give him the energy he needs.

#2. He needs respect. Respect is simply a way of being kind to one another and by thinking about how someone feels. It does NOT mean you have to agree with what is being done or even like the person. It just simply means that you are going to treat a person (ultimately) the way God wants you to treat someone He created! The pastor should be leading the church down the path the Lord desires and sometimes what you want isn’t what the Lord has specifically told the pastor HE wants. This is usually where a church member gets all upset and (unfortunately) stirs the pot because they aren’t getting their way. THIS is where respect comes into play! Your pastor is human- yes, he will make mistakes! But he was placed in the pastor position by God! And your church chose him to lead y’all! SO LET HIM LEAD! He isn’t doing what you want him to do? Refer back to #1! PRAY FOR HIM! Differences happen. But it doesn’t change how you should treat a person. I know of churches who treated us one way- as long as we were doing what they wanted- but as soon as there were differences- we were treated differently. If you find yourself disagreeing often with the pastor, don’t create problems church-wide. It may just be time to move on to worship somewhere else. (Yep, I said it.) It isn’t YOUR church. It’s God’s church. And He has more than one. 😉

#3. He needs family time. Y’all, we have truly been blessed with some good churches who (for the most part) got this. But y’all, I’ve seen it. Churches who call at all hours for all things! Listen, I get the fact that the pastor is your pastor, but he’s my husband- and our children’s father. Be considerate is all we (and any pastor’s family) ask! He will be there- at your beckon call- for anything. He will struggle to say no- no matter how trivial it may be. His pastor heart is huge for you! Call him! Ask him for prayer! Confide in him. Meet with him. Do whatever it is that you need, because you are why he is there. But if it can wait until morning (or office hours or whatever)- let it! His family will thank you! (And so will he!)

#4. He needs support. There is not much that is more disheartening than hearing from your congregation- putting together something that is a result from what you heard- and having nobody (or next to nobody) support it! He is doing his best to lead the way God wants him to- and y’all, the devil does NOT go easy on him. Don’t be a Sunday morning only church member. He needs to know that you are as committed into growing the kingdom of God as he is- and you aren’t if you only show up on Sunday mornings (yep, I said that too). You are missing vital times to serve God and to grow with other Christians if you show up just on Sunday mornings. Sunday School, evening worship, mid-week Bible study, and any other time your church meets- for fellowship, outreach, prayer, or learning- you need to be there. Ok, you’re right, there are times when you cannot be- for various reasons- and if you have an extremely large church there may be too many meeting times to attend them all- BUT, show up enough that he knows you are serious! And while I’m at it- don’t just sit in the back, arms crossed… be an action Christian and MOVE!

Last one…. #5. He needs love. Yeah, I love him- and so do his kids. But love from his church members? Now that’s perfect! He loves you and has your best interest in mind. Show him love! Here’s a tip: find out what your pastor’s love language is and bless him that way. And when all else fails- home-baked goodies are a hit!

(Note: This is all a two way street. Your pastor should be praying for you, and he should treat you with respect. He shouldn’t demand all your time be spent serving at church and there should be zero guilt when you and your family steal away for a much needed weekend at the beach. Above all else, he should be demonstrating Christ’s love in practical ways to and for you! Just remember, he is human and he will fall. Return Christ’s love and offer some much needed grace, a dozen homemade chocolate chip cookies, and a friendly smile. That’s really what he needs.)

What do you think? Agree or disagree? Anything else you would add?

Linked up with: Teaching What Is Good, The Modest Mom Blog, Mondays at Soul Survival, Tune in Thursday, Imparting Grace, Women with Intention

2 thoughts on “5 things your pastor really needs…

  1. Erika – I would wholeheartedly agree with all 5 of these points as well and especially your end note that it is a 2 way street… not only does the pastor need these things, he is usually doing them for the congregation as well. My husband and I are the senior Pastors of a church, and I can so relate to the comments you made under each one of these 5 points. Thank you for sharing your insight and thanks for linking up with #TuneInThursday today


  2. Great post, Erika! I agree with all of your points. I think the lack of respect for our pastors points to a general lack of respect for all authority. So many of us are consumer Christians, going from church to church looking for whatever or whoever will give us what we want instead of being committed to a church and submitting to leadership (as long as the teaching, etc. is biblical). Blessings to you and your husband as you seek to minister to those God places in your paths. Blessings!


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